Happy Birthday Dad

So I know I have kind of given up on this blog a bit since things have been busier but I cannot escape the fact that I miss my dad every day. Last month marked two years since his death (he was 48). Today, is his birthday and he would be 51. It is weird to think that he would be 51...my dad, 51. I cannot remember if I have mentioned this before, but my brother one time mentioned that he had a feeling my dad would never make it to 50. And that was well before his illness set in that winter of 2009.
There is definitely a new normal without him. It is not better. In fact, it is getting very scary. I can't voluntarily hear his voice in my head like I used to or picture how he would react in certain senarios. I feel as though I make it all up now, as if I did not know him to begin with. I am 24 now and I wish I could talk to him about things that I could only talk to him about. I get scared that I am like him in so many ways, but don't have him here to relate to.

Anyways... it's the same hurt, just a different day. But today is his birthday and I hope he knows that he is missed.

xox