Lorraine

Every Monday, my classroom goes on a field trip. This particular Monday happened to be the day after the medium and it was all I wanted to talk about. We were short staffed so Lorraine came in to be our sub for the day. While on the field trip, I was yapping all about the stories I had heard and how I couldn't believe how REAL it all seemed. Lorraine told me that she was a huge follower in spirits and receiving signs. She couldn't escape conversation with me even is she tried. She was telling me about books she reads and different readings she had been to. She even went to hear from a pet one time!!! It was a wonderful gift to speak to Lorraine because she is an older woman who I don't really get to speak to at work because our classrooms are far from each other. I realized how much in common we had which include having heavy drinkers for fathers and how similarly we coped. I always (and still) felt wierd saying "my dad's an alchoholic" because I never saw him as that. He wasn't mean, or scary, or stumbling on the side of the road while searching for rides home. But the truth of the matter is, I lost about eight years with my father because he chose alchohol. I was lucky to have the past three years getting to know him again and I think the past few years was a blessing. Lorraine knew this story too well. She claims her Father drank himself to death. I'd like to not think that is the case with my dad, but I would love for him to let me know what was going on with him. The sad thing is...no one knows. Anyway, the most interesting part of my conversation was when Lorraine told me about the concrete signs she receives from a close friend of hers who passed a little over a decade ago. She said when she feels like she's losing faith, she simply asks...and she receives. How wonderful. Her stories were just as powerful as the ones I had experienced. What's even more powerful is that these stories are not used to persuade. They are not used to "swear they are not crazy"...ya know what I mean? I feel like a lot of people think this is all cockamayme. When I share this information with people I try to not sound like a creep haha.
A few days later, Lorraine left a book in my office at work and the real journey begins.
...Now wouldn't you say that Lorraine was brought to me for a reason that day? I think SOMEONE is trying to help me heal in some way. Remember things are not just a coincidence!

here we are

Dedicated to Dad on PhotoPeach

coincidences

The next day I was still pretty upset that I didn't receive a message from anyone. I was trying to stay "open" now that I was a new believer. I woke up the next morning and headed to the bathroom to get ready for work. I looked down at my tile floor and saw a cross in between the tiles. The first thing that came to mind was "gross...what is this shmutz". I told myself that I'd have to clean the bathroom when I got home and went on with my morning routine. A few minutes later I walked into the bathroom for a final hair check and the shmutz was gone. Now the tricky part of this new experience is not just looking at things as coincidence. When I saw the cross I literally thought it was caked on whatever but in the matter of minutes it was gone. Was it someone who was trying to tell me I was on the right track with this new way of thinking? I knew I needed to know more. Thankfully I had a wonderful conversation with someone at work who is now my spiritual guru.

How My Journey Began

A few months ago, my cousin and I went to see a medium in Woonsocket, RI. We were a bit skeptical about what we were going to see because we had no experience with this matter since we were raised as Catholics. I was never raised to be spiritual...just religion by the book. Anyway, my cousin has lost both of her parents within the past two years and our grandmother had past years back. We figured the medium would gravitate towards us since we would have this grand ol' posse "behind" us. He started at the other side of the autitorium and began his readings. The stories were raw and heartbreaking to hear but seemed so beautiful and uplifting for the family or friends listening. The thing that stuck out in my mind was that there was absolutley NO way this guy was making up these stories. I couldn't believe that I was I actually becoming a believer in something again. As he neared closed to my row, I began hyperventilating (as calm as possible without freaking out my cousin). The feeling was so great that I had tears rolling down my cheeks. The presence of the medium moved me so much because I wanted to hear a message. I wanted to hear the medium say "Dad is here... and he is saying he loves you and that he is so proud of you". But he didn't say those words to me. He walked right on by my cousin and I and the presentation was over about 15 minutes after. We left disappointed but a little hopeful. My cousin and I were thinking of funny reasons our loved ones didn't "show up", but I knew from then on something was going to change in my life.

welcome

Spirits,ghosts and wandering souls. Do you believe they exist? I sure didn't...that is, before I started searching. When my father passed away in April of 2009, at the age of 48, I was lost. Lost for religion, lost for words, lost for everything. I was literally losing myself.

I didn't want to hear it from anyone that his suffering was over, or that he was in a better place. I didn't believe anything. I didn't know what function I was serving when I went to the cemetary and stood beside his gravestone. I didn't feel anything. If I wasn't feeling in touch with him there then why would he be with me anywhere else. I would always just leave with muddy pants and a feeling that there was some kind of bug on me...